I'm a happy single girl. That said, I eventually want someone in my life...the right someone. I watch the relationships around me spin and jerk like the Tilt-A-Whirl at the carnival and think about what I want in someone to share my life with...wonder why I'm generally single and rarely together.*
When I went home for Christmas it was in observing my grandparents that I got some answers. They are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary this April, and while their relationship has had its share of ups and downs, their love just seems to grow. My grandmother's health has been deteriorating pretty steadily this past year, and I see how that pains him and how his devotion to her is unwavering. He still held her hand when they walked for the longest time, and now that she can't really walk very far he's one of the ones that helps her into her wheelchair. When she stopped being able to wipe herself, guess who was there. When he gets off work he spends is days at the nursing home sitting with her, and when hope seems to wane, he's man enough to cry. Throughout the years they've also shown me that love is something that requires work and that isn't perfect. He cheated once when I was really young. My grandmother loved him though and chose to stay...forgive...work through their problems. Love hurts, but when it's meant to be, working on it is worth it.
I want that love...the love that will be here for the long haul. I can't just love someone because I need someone in my life. I want that someone who still wants to hold my hand when I'm 70.
*In reality, I know the suitcase of issues I have contributes to my singleness ;-)